For the first time since maybe September, I just went for a run. I’m visiting my mom right now, so I brought the dog with me. We’re now both reclining on my bed after cooling down and stretching–she’s panting like a maniac and my body is shaking because it forgot what exercise was. It felt so good to get out in the sun and get some exercise.

The past month and a half has been turbulent and challenging, and I should’ve been doing more things (like running) that made me feel good. I have graduated from college. That means thousands of different things, but the most clear is that I am now solely responsible for myself. Yes, I do have a support network of people that care about me, but things are different now. I am operating solo and it is an alarming experience.

All of my plans have changed. Boston and Cambridge, I’m not returning to you in the near future. You’ve been a wonderful place for me, but I need some open land and tall trees whose roots aren’t surrounded by cement. Amherst is offering me some physical space to think, think, think. I am going to take it. I am going to fix up the bike I just got, find your running trails, and take care of your children for a few months.

After those months… who knows? Maybe I’ll be ready for Boston again. Or maybe it’ll be Tahiti, London, or Bolivia. More likely, I’ll stay in Amherst for a little bit longer. Maybe I’ll just pace myself–that’s the most important thing I learned about distance running back when I was on the team in high school. You must be able to pace yourself well enough that you can do your entire workout at the same speed. Even if you’re going a little slower than you’d like, you should be able to maintain that same speed for the best possible gain of endurance.

I’ll pace myself, stretch diligently, and have nice, long cool downs. Maybe I’ll work a few sprint workouts in, here and there, but I’m going to run for the enjoyment of it.