Graduating from college is a really de-humanizing experience (hey Mom, did you catch that? Graduating FROM college!). It just sucks the contentment right out of a 22-year-old.

Sure, it has its highlights (a Bachelor’s Degree would be one of them… freedom would be another), But the lowlights are the things that really slapped me in the ass as I walked out the revolving door of my education: the future of LOAN PAYMENTS. That’ll do it! Also, the prospect that I have to figure it out. I have to figure out life and myself and employment and insurance and habitat and relationships and fun: IT.

For weeks now, I have been wrestling with it. The last post I wrote was an indication of that, perhaps, but for the first time since mid-April(ish), I have felt good for a whole week. Part of it is probably that I started exercising again. I started focusing more on eating a little more consciously- lots of fruit and vegetables (today I had fresh cherries, celery with chunky peanut butter, and a salad with tomatoes and craisins and mushrooms and green peppers and chives for lunch). I will soon start to sleep better, once I have a routine up here in Amherst. I am getting a haircut tomorrow that will be more summer-manageable, and I have some new things to wear that I love (thanks, Mom!).

The point is, I am feeling like myself. I captured back some of the humanity that graduation burgled from me. Even though things are no less complicated than they were weeks ago, they are not weighing so heavily on me as to paralyze me with fear.

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Note to readers: Now that I’m back in a happier place, I will move away from personal testimony and back towards fun things I’m making or pictures or food or whatever else I think might interest you. Feel free to leave suggestions!