I have been dead to the internet for a few weeks now. Not the whole internet, just the blog part. I don’t exactly know what’s gotten into me, aside from a lot of delicious food. I have to admit, I don’t really mind being disconnected all that much. However, the nagging guilt of not posting since January has finally bested me, and I hope not to go so long without posting (ever again).

Since we last rendezvoused, I have made (in bold) and/or eaten (not in bold) the following delicious foods:

Challah French Toast

Homemade Papardelle with a Ragu Bolognese

Green Garlic and Broccoli Soup with Gnocchi, Beef Tenderloin with a Root Vegetable Gratin and Spinach, and Chocolate Three Ways (at Harvest)

Pain de Campagne

Wild Mushroom Soup

A Number of Delicious Salads

The list continues on, obviously, because I didn’t only eat 6 meals over the past two weeks. But, lately, all I’ve been thinking about is food and the abstract future. Wondering whether or not they might be joined one day. I used to say that culinary school was my backup if I ever dropped out of college. I was probably 60% serious, but I never really thought I’d drop out (and didn’t).

People I know are pondering, applying to, attending, or have attended grad school. I feel like there’s probably some higher educational track out there for me, but I haven’t quite nailed it down. Working in (fake) education is great for right now, but the honeymoon will end someday. If I continued on a logical tangent from my current job, I would be attending grad school in a couple of years for my masters in Early Childhood Education or Elementary Education… from there, I’d have to be some kind of real teacher or program director or administrator or something in the educational field, and frankly the idea of planning and executing curriculums just doesn’t appeal to me.

In the closeish-distant future, there will likely be a new city in my life. If I go to that city, would I find a job I like there? Or should I consider grad school? Or should I go out on a limb and just go to culinary school. It’s now been my “backup” career for YEARS, and lately all I want to do is have people over so I can cook for them and fill their bellies and then fill them all over again if I can con them into staying for another meal. I stopped by Whole Foods today to get some salmon for dinner, and frankly I just couldn’t contain my drool. I was tripping over my own feet staring at all the delicious meats and cheeses and produce that I want so desperately to get my hands and kitchen tools on.

So why would I not do it? The life of a chef is full of cuts and burns and working nights and weekends. The cuts and burns thing I’m starting to get over. Recently, I have burned myself with hot sesame oil, and on the side of the oven trying to get a pan out… the pain doesn’t really matter when the stir fry is the best I’ve ever made and the pizza is scrumptious. I’ve shredded a pinkie and a thumb on my Microplane–the frustration that a Band-Aid changed the way I cook was stronger than the physical pain of losing a little skin. The nights and weekends, though. Those are what get me.

I’m not going anywhere in particular with this, I haven’t made a decision about my middle-distant future, but I’ll keep you updated. I just wanted you to know I’m back. In the meantime I’m going to try to spend as much time as I can with my boys… Mario, Jamie, Alton, Alex, and James.